There may be no more important competency that learning appropriate Emotional Self-Control—especially if you are a leader or a manager of teams.
Your emotions are entirely your own — no one makes you feel a certain way. Language such as “you made me feel” is neither accurate nor helpful, as it suggests someone else is in control of your emotions. The first step toward Emotional Self-control is to understand that your emotions are your response to what you think is happening around you, and to you. In other words, your interpretation of events leads to your emotions. Change your understanding of what is happening and you change your emotional response. You can do this by checking out what you think others are saying to you, what you think is happening, and what your concerns about events are.
Action learning tips and learning assignments on the job are a click away at EQDashboard.com.
If any of the following behaviors are true of you or associates with whom you work, remedies found at EQDashboard.com will be a relief for everyone:
- Loses temper easily; has few healthy outlets for emotions
- Expresses anger or frustration in volatile ways
- Appears unaware of how one’s thoughts about a situation affect emotions and related behaviors
- Shows no awareness of the effect of emotional expressions on others
- Reacts impulsively to others’ behavior without any apparent effort to understand
You might also consider (a sampling of suggestions from www.EQDashboard.com):
Berfelo, Usha. Is Your World Flat?: Experiencing Emotional Awareness in an Upwards-Moving Cycle. Bloomington, IN: iUniverse, 2006.
McKay, Matthew, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning. Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Life. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2007.